Ciao !

Come vi avevo promesso vi posto le 2 fanfic di Monica (veramente
belle)

Avviso: contengono SPOILER !! Non leggetele se non avete prima letto
le traduzioni degli ultimi 5 episodi ! 



-- BEGIN--

        The couple walk down the street holding hands as they go home
from a 
wedding. Very obviously in love, the younger lady turns to her
husband, 
saying something that makes him smile. "Dear, I think that was a
beautiful
ceremony, don't you? Miki-chan and Yuu-kun looked so happy... almost
as
happy as we were when we got married." Her husband puts his arm around
her,
embracing her. They stood that way for a moment, before they both
realize
that it is getting late, and they should be getting home. 

        As they walk on, he comments, "I was surprised at how mature 
Koishikawa looked. She has certainly grown up in the last few years
since
our marriage. You must be happy that we've moved to Tokyo. That way,
you can
see her everyday like before." Their pleasant chat moves onto other
topics,
such as the other people that they had seen- Kei and Suzu, who had
finally
gotten engaged, Ginta and Arimi, who had been expecting their second
child,
and all the others that they had not seen in a long time, and had
changed
so much.

        As they turn to cross the street, the man seems to notice
something 
from the corner of his eye. Looking in horror at something behind the
woman,
he doesn't have time to say anything. Instead, he shoves her away from
him 
at the last moment, throwing her to the ground. She cries out, her
hands 
instinctively covering her face as she rolls to stop a few feet away.
She 
feels a strong wind and hears a sickening sound of metal hitting
something,
and looks up to see why he has shoved her away. 

        In her mind, nothing registers except for the sight of the
body on
the ground, broken and bleeding. She stares in horror as the scene
before
her imprints itself onto her very soul. A person from the inside of
the 
car comes out, obviously intoxicated. The drunk woman staggers for a
bit 
before collapsing onto the ground, bleeding from her forehead.

        She hears a siren from a distance. She wonders why it sounded
so far
away, but yet seems so near... She feels herself being shaken, and
looks up 
from the scene to see two people she doesn't know. She gazes at them, 
uncomprehending as they ask her things that she can't hear. Finally,
one of them shakes his head and covers her in a blanket, moving her to
the
back of the ambulance.

        As she huddles into a corner, the young woman sees two
stretchers
being put into the same ambulance as the one she is in. One has within
it 
the bleeding, drunken woman. She could feel herself vaguely hoping the
hurt 
lady would be well, but forgets even that when the other stretcher is 
brought in after the first.

        Why? Why was it covered with a sheet? Who could be under it?
As the
ambulance's siren turns on again and starts to speed to the hospital,
her 
mind starts to shake off the shock, making connections and recapturing

memories. Finally, she slowly stands up and goes to the covered body.
She
stumbles a little as the ambulance rounds a corner sharply, but
regains 
her balance quickly.

        Her hands starts to tremble as it gets closer to the sterile
white
sheet. She wonders to herself why she is so concerned as she lifts the
sheet to see under it. As realization dawns, her incoherent cries fill
the
ambulance with its sheer hopelessness. "No... no!" One of the
ambulance's 
staff comes up to her murmuring something in a soothing tone, but she
can't 
hear it. It is drowned out in the vast roar that envelops her in
darkness as 
she finally realizes.

        "Shinichi... no!" As she collapses, she can only hear the
sound of 
the medic's voice calling for the driver to go faster. That, and the
sound
of her life shattering, her heart breaking. She tries to deny it, but
Meiko
knows that in her heart, her love is gone.

-----------
Rising From the Ashes: A Marmalade Boy Fanfic by Monica Shin
-----------

        "How is she?"
        "The doctor says that she's suffering from severe shock. The
few
scratches and bruises she got from being shoved away have already
healed."
        "Meiko... Oh, Yuu! How could this happen? We saw them only a
few 
hours ago, and they were so happy! That this happened when they were
coming
from our wedding-"
        "Shh! Miki, don't even think that! Right now, just worry about
Meiko.
You know how what was like when she thought that he had just gone
away. How
do you think she's going to be when she realized that he's dead?"

        Dead. That word echoes in Meiko's mind as she slowly opens her
eyes.
Before her, she sees a sterile hospital room, all florescent lights
and 
white walls, sheets. At the door, speaking as they hold each other
close 
are the newlyweds. Miki and Yuu are still in the clothes that they had
been 
wearing at the reception, and the warm colors of their outfits makes
an odd 
contrast to the room.

        They both start as her strained voice says, "What are you two
doing
here? Weren't you going on your honeymoon?" Miki cries out and runs
over to
Meiko's side. "Oh, Meiko! I'm so sorry!" Miki can't seem to help her
tears
as they start to spill out from where they had been threatening since
she 
had heard. Meiko stares blankly down at the sobbing woman in her arms
and 
then at Yuu, who comes near the bed and puts a reassuring hand on his 
sobbing wife's arm.

        "Meiko, I-I'm sorry." Yuu's simple statement is followed by a 
cessation of Miki's tears, as she realizes why she is here. Miki's 
tremulous voice becomes firmer as she speaks again, drawing strength
from 
Yuu's presence. "We are both so sorry-" Miki's arms go around Meiko,
gently 
holding her. Yuu stands over both of them, lending his strength, so
that 
both form a support for Meiko. Overwhelmed, Meiko suddenly starts to
cry the
tears that she has been trying not to shed in front of her friends. 

        Uncontrollable and unstoppable, Meiko's tears last too long
for both
of her friends. All they can do is hold her as she lets her tears
flow, and
finally exhausted, she lets herself drift to sleep. Miki stands over
her bed
for a moment, smoothing out the blanket, and then leaves, shutting off
the 
lights. Meiko can hear snatches of their conversation as they leave
her to 
sleep in the dark. 

        "Yuu..."
        "Shh- Miki, I know. I won't ever leave you-"

        Her heart is breaking again. She stares up at the ceiling, her
sight
blurring with the tears. Finally, she whispers in a voice full of
despair, 
"You promised me... that you would never leave me again. You
promised-"
Her tears coming again, she lets herself surrender to them as memories
of 
their life together invades her thoughts.

----------------

        "Na-chan! I- I mean, Shinichi..." Meiko blushed as her old
habits
betrayed her again. Her new husband's laugh made her blush even more,
but
she couldn't help laughing with him. He came up to her, giving her a
hug.
She looked around their new apartment. They had found one right near
his 
parents' business. It was messy right now, but she could imagine how
lovely 
everything would look after-

        "Shi-shinichi! What are you doing?" Meiko's startled
exclamation was
cut off by his kiss, as he started to move both of them away from the 
unpacked boxes. "You look a bit tired, Meiko. I thought you might want
to 
take a shower..." She looked at him for a moment before blushing even
more,
but then gave up, dragging both of them into the bathroom...

-----------------

        "Namura-san. Namura-san?" Meiko looks up to see a nurse who
seems to
have been waiting for her to pay attention for a long time. "Y-yes?"
Meiko
is a little startled by her own voice, which sounds much to tired to
be her
own. The nurse, who has been looking at her with concern and a little 
irritation, smiles and replies, "People have come to take you home, 
Namura-san."

        Meiko wonders who it could be, and then sees as the two come
in 
together, obviously ill at ease. "Meiko, come on. We're going home
now." 
She stares at the two as they start to bicker together about the most 
inane thing she can think of- what room she's going to have.

        "It's her room! Just because you moved in all of your new
maid's 
things into doesn't mean you can't move her out- go to that hotel that
the
two of you like so much!"
        "It's not as if your daughter can't move into the room your
little
pool boy's staying in!"

        Meiko stares in shock, realizing just how far her parents had 
degenerated. Arguing in public, actually letting their lovers move
into 
their home... Of course, she has known that they had hired other help
since
her old housekeeper- her real parent in her heart- had told her she
had 
been fired... She has not seen her parents since- since she had
stormed out 
of their hate-filled life to be with Shinichi... Shinichi. She can't
see 
anything except for that road, that broken body- She stays that way,
silent,
seeing nothing but the ashes of her life, until her father starts to
pull 
her out of the bed. 

        "Meiko, get out of bed. We're taking you home."
        "I knew that this was going to end in tragedy... that good-for

nothing-"

        Suddenly, all of the pain, the fury, comes out of her. "Let go
of 
me! How- how dare you!" She manages to drag herself out of the bed,
and then
calls out to the nurse. "Miss, could you please tell these two people
to 
leave? I- I don't know them..." The nurse, who has been standing
outside of 
the room, looks at the mourning woman sympathetically. "I'm sorry, but

you'll have to leave now."

        Meiko can hear the protests that the two offer before they are
taken
away, but she cannot care. She is too lost in the memories.
"Shinichi..."

------------

        Meiko looks at the elderly couple in her room. She has
managed, at
the very least, to get dressed and look respectable.

        "Mother, Father-"

        The older woman rushes up to her. Giving her a heartfelt hug,
the
woman who had truly become her mother starts to cry, setting of
Meiko's 
tears as well. Together, both grieve for a son and a husband, while
the old 
man guards the bed, ignoring the tears that run down his own cheeks.
After 
a time of mutual grieving, the older woman gains control of herself.

        "Oh, Meiko... We're both so sorry for you. What will you do
now? You
are always welcome to stay with us... You've become like our own
daughter 
in the years that you were Shinichi's wife."
        "Mother, Father. I think that I will stay with you. I can't
stay in
Tokyo anymore... not after this. I'll have to settle business here-
sell 
the apartment and the furniture, and get all of... all of Shinichi's
things 
together, but after that-"
        "Don't worry about that, Meiko. Just do what you can, and then
come
back to us."

        She lies back to bed after they leave, thinking about the
future.
A life without Shinichi... she just wants to curl up into a little
ball and
ignore everything, but she cannot. She has to bother with all the
little
mundanities that holds no interest for her, but that she must see
to... It
will not be hard to sell the apartment, since they had only been there
for
a few days, and they had not even unpacked everything yet-

        She fights back the tears. She can't let them rule her life
like 
this... but they come anyway, washing away everything but her pain. A
life
without Shinichi, without her Na-chan. What is she going to do without
him?
Her life had been defined as Meiko and Shinichi. She was too used to 
thinking in terms of "my husband and I" to be able to stop now...

--------------

        Meiko gazes out at the window. It is snowing again, blanketing
the
view in front of her. She couldn't help but wonder why she is doing
this, 
why she is even trying to organize her life to become just Meiko
again...
She knows that she has to stop dawdling, and sighs. 

        After a moment, Meiko starts to dig through the boxes. She
will have 
to separate her things into what she needs and what she doesn't. After
all, 
there is only a finite amount of space here in her parents' house in 
Hiroshima. She will not be more of a burden on them than she must. It
is 
obvious from looking around her room that she can keep only a few of
the 
most important items. The rest will have to be put into storage... 

        Meiko looks fondly at her things from high school, knowing
that 
she'll have to put them away. She can't help but smile at some of the
things 
that she and Miki had shared at that time- the small little jokes that

involved only two of them, their shopping outings, the time they had
just 
spent together- Even now, Miki is still like that- so sweet and happy.

Their daily phone calls tell Meiko exactly how much, and little her
friend
has changed...

        "That's odd... I wonder what this is?" Meiko looks at the
nondescript
postcard she has just found stuck between two pages of one of the
diaries
that she and Miki had exchanged. "Oh..." She remembers what this is
now. It
had come right after the wedding, bearing no name. It had only said,
-Be
happy and remember that I will always be there for you-

        She had know then who had sent it, of course. She had hoped
that he 
would find someone like she had, and perhaps would be happy. She still
hopes
that, but... She can't help but to laugh a little bitterly. "I
certainly 
hope your life doesn't turn out like mine."

        Still, bitterness should not have a place here. Memories are
being
awakened, but most of them are good ones... even if every single one
of them
opens up a raw, bleeding place in her heart. Meiko's internal
admonishment 
to herself, that it has already been four months, that she should
start to 
let go, to live... it rings so false for her. 

        Looking at the pictures she had taken during school, Meiko
sees her 
Shinichi- Na-chan then- in almost every picture. Lurking here and
there, but
it had been unconscious on his part, and hers as well. But even then,
she had
know that he was special. She had known that she would never feel that
pull 
that she had felt toward him for anyone else, ever again...

        Wiping away her tears angrily, Meiko continues to go through
her 
memories carefully. Each one was precious to her, a remnant of a
happier,
innocent time, when she had not known true loss...

        "Meiko, are you there?" Her mother's voice reaches her through
her
memories, making her start. "Yes mother, I'm here." The older woman
comes 
into the room, avoiding the many boxes that were strewn around. "Mail
came
for you- I think that this one was lost for a bit because of your
abrupt 
change in address."

        After thanking her mother, she drops the letters to the floor.
She 
doesn't really want to open them... what could be in them? She has
received
condolences from people who had worked with Shinichi, or who had gone
to
school with him... She feels so tired of writing a reply each time,
feeling
her soul tear even more-

        There was no return address on the letter, only a simple -To
Akizuki
Meiko- on the front, with her brief Tokyo address. "Akizuki? Who would
use-"
She realizes then who would. Only a few people calls her that, even
now.
After all, she is still on the Namura family register, and is planning
on
staying there.

        "Miwa-san..." Looking at the thin letter, she truly does not
want to
open it. However, she can't deny that he has always been a true
friend, even
though he has avoided communication with her for so long. Opening the 
letter, she is surprised to see that there is only a few elegant
lines. 

        -Akizuki. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know how much you
loved 
him, and I will stay away if you wish. However, I will always be there
if 
you need me. You know how I will always feel. Miwa-

        Meiko stares at the letter for a moment, before flinging it
away. 
It is an irrational, childish thing to do, but she can't help herself.
She 
can't deal with this right now... Staring at the letter, and then at
the 
pictures, Meiko resists her tears with success. Quietly, she whispers,
"I 
don't think that I can ever deal with this again..." 

        Meiko throws the letter into the rubbish pile, but then
hesitates. 
She will not- no, cannot- reply to him... she knows that much.
However, his 
sentiment has always been truthful, and she won't just throw his
honesty
away. She puts the letter and the postcard into the diary that she had
been
reading, and puts all of it away into one of the boxes marked
"Storage". 
Another goodbye, this time to a happier time and place...

--------------

        Meiko is staring at the page, as she has been for the last
hour. 
Nothing... "Why? Why can't I write?" Looking back at the story she has
been 
struggling to write, she feels something missing...She looks around,
trying 
to draw inspiration from her surroundings, from anywhere. Hey eyes
finally
fall to a picture on her desk, of her and her husband...

        Looking at the picture for a long time, she realizes what she
has 
been trying to do. Musings, she directs her words toward the picture.
"Have
I been trying to avoid thinking about you, my love? If only so I don't
keep
crying like an idiot..." Then suddenly, she stands up. Going over to
her
dresser, she opens the last drawer. In it, there are the usual objects

people end up putting into a miscellaneous place. 

        Meiko looks around for a moment, before she draws out a box.
Opening
it, she takes out a pen. It looks as if it had been used before, but
has
not been touched recently. Fondly, she looks at the pen, and goes back
to
her desk. Determination touches her voice as she promises, "I'm not
going
to give up writing in my sorrow... For you, Shinichi- I will write the
story
that will make everyone remember and love you as I do." Thinking back
to 
when she had gotten this pen, she cannot help but want to do her
memories
justice.

--------------

        Meiko couldn't believe how quickly the good day had turned
bad. She
had been so happy that her story had been accepted. The magazines had 
told her that she had potential, that if she kept trying... She had
thought
that it would be so easy because of the Asahi that she had won. But
whenever she had tried to sell any of her stories, they had told her
that
her writing had lost the edge that her first story had had...

        When she had told Shinichi about it, he had been so happy,
too. They
had planned an evening out together. Right as they were about to leave
for 
the restaurant, she had mentioned carelessly that she had been glad
that her
marriage hadn't ruined her writing... it had been a stupid,
thoughtless 
comment that had set off all of the insecurities her Shinichi had
about 
their marriage.

        His look of hurt and pain had lasted only for a moment, and
then had
disappeared. Still, she realized what she had said, and tried to
apologize.
Only somehow, it had come out all wrong, and they had had their first
real
argument since their marriage...

        She looked at the apartment, where she had stayed after her
husband
had stormed away. "Am I starting to become like my mother? Fighting
like 
that... How could we have-" She couldn't help but feel scared- scared
that 
her life would truly just become like her parents', that their love
would
just go away-

        "Meiko... please let me in..."

        She rushed to the door, opening it. She saw her husband there,

looking as miserable as she felt. She couldn't help but rush into his
arms as soon as he had come in.

        "Shinichi! Oh, dear... I'm so sorry!" 
        "Meiko. It's my fault. Somehow, I let your special occasion
turn out
so badly. I know this can't make up for it, but-"

        Her dear husband shows her what he'd been hiding behind him- A

bouquet of flowers, proclaiming -Good Luck- and a small box. She
opened it,
wondering what it could be. He had gotten her a pen, one of the more 
expensive ones, with a small note inside. -Please use as often as
possible
for your happiness-

        "Shinichi..." 

        Somehow, the bad day had turned into a good one so easily...

--------------

        "Mother, Father..." The people she considers her real parents
look
up at her in surprise. "Meiko dear, I hadn't noticed you coming in.
Please
sit down and have some tea." Sitting down at the low table, Meiko
accepts 
the tea and takes a calming sip. Putting down the cup, she smiles.

        "I have to tell you both something." Seeing their expectant
faces, 
Meiko hopes that they will understand... "I must go back to Tokyo."
Both
of their faces are full of understanding, not of the confusion that
she had
been sure they would feel. "I hope that both of you understand that I
must-"

        She stops speaking as her mother-in-law starts to smile, a
little 
sadly, and nods. "Meiko, we understand. You must come to terms... We
had 
been expecting something like this for a time. Please, go back and
come back
to us happier than you have been..." At Meiko's rushed assurance that
she
is happy here, her father-in-law smiles also.

        "Meiko. We realize how much Shinichi meant to you. However,
you are
a bright, talented girl who shouldn't be tied down to his memory.
Wherever
he is, I know that he knows you love him... he wouldn't want you to
stay as
you are, unhappy and sad. He would want you to live life, and find
someone
else-" 

        Meiko looks down at her tea, and then slowly shakes her head.
"I 
will go to Tokyo to find some peace... but no one can, or will ever
replace 
Shinichi. No one." Her two in-laws smile sadly, looking at each other,
and
then at the still-grieving woman. Then, with a forced gaiety, her
mother 
said, "Well, we must plan for your trip! Where are you going to stay-"

--------------

        "Hello?"
        "Miki? Is that you?"
        "Meiko! How are you? I was about to call you right now... How
is your
story going?"
        "Actually, that's why I'm calling. Do you think I could stay
in Tokyo
with you and Yuu for a few days?"
        "I think so- are you coming to visit?"
        "I want to see where... where Shinichi-"
        "Oh... I see. Um..."
        "Don't worry, Miki. This is just something I have to do... for
both
of us."
        "... Well, when are you coming?"
        "I thought maybe next week?"
        "That sounds- oh no! I'm sorry, Meiko!"
        "What is it?"
        "It's just Yuu and I are going to New York that week. I'm
going to 
be looking at some of the new schemes at this annual design
exhibitions, 
while he's going to be attending some lectures with-"
        "Oh. I see... don't worry about it, Miki. I'll just go to a
hotel-"
        "No way! No friend of mine is going to be staying at a hotel
while
my house is so near! I'll leave you my keys, and you can stay at our
house!"
        "If it's not too much trouble..."
        "Meiko, don't you dare say such things! Of course it's not any

trouble."
        "Miki, thank you... I'm sorry I haven't called in so long.
What is
this exhibition about, anyway?"
        "Well, ever since Yuu and I built and decorated our house,
I've been
looking for an extra-special design scheme. I want it to be just
perfect for
a new pair of eyes to look at the world-"
        "Miki! Are you-"
        "Yes! I found out just today- that's why I was about to call-"
        "Oh- Miki-chan! That's wonderful-"

-----------

        Meiko hangs up the phone with a bittersweet smile on her face.
"Miki
is going to have a baby... That's wonderful! Why am I so sad? Can I
really
be that petty?"

        She looks down a her own flat stomach. "Shinichi and I... we
were so
sure-" A tear rolls down her cheek, only one. One for the lost
chances, for
the death of the dreams...

------------

        "Good morning, Meiko." Meiko smiled into her husbands eyes as
she
slowly drifted awake. It was a holiday and neither of them had to get
out 
of bed for a long time... "Umm... Good morning, Shinichi." She
snuggled 
into her husband's arms and sighed in contentment. 

        A moment of quiet thought for both of them, as the sun shone
on both
of them. She looked at the dust motes floating lazily in the light,
and 
asked quietly, "Do you want a boy or a girl?" She gazed slyly up at
her 
husband, who had suddenly acquired a rather panicked look on his face.

        "Ah- Meiko... is there any particular reason-" Meiko couldn't
help
giggling at the strange expression on Shinichi's face, and replied,
"Not yet
dear, not yet. But when it happens?" Shinichi's face became less
startled
as he started to smile too.

        "A little girl to play piggyback with... that would be nice.
What 
about you?" Meiko considered for a moment, before putting a finger on
her
husband's nose. "A little boy that looks exactly like my Shinichi..."
Both
smiling now, she sighed back into his arms. "Soon, I'm sure of it.
Maybe 
after we move to Tokyo..." 

----------

        Meiko kneels down in front of the headstone. Laying the
flowers in
front of the grave and lighting the incense, she bows her head in
prayer. 
*Shinichi... I'm going to go to Tokyo soon, to try to make my peace
with 
your death- I'll try, but... Shinichi, you're never going to truly go
away.
Not for me... never for me.*

--------------

        Meiko smiles as she looks at the house. She has been here
before, of
course. However, the last time she has visited it was when it had been
under
construction... It had been finished after their wedding... She uses
the key
that Miki had sent her, and lets herself in. "Miki?" She hears a door
slam 
and footsteps as Miki comes rushing in to greet her. "Meiko! You're
here! 
I'm sorry I couldn't come to the train station to meet you, but I had
to 
pack-"

        Meiko smiles and hugs Miki. "It's all right, Miki. It's not as
if I 
didn't know the way. So, are you going to leave now?" Miki nods,
pulling her
toward the bedroom. "Yes! I have to catch the plane in- oh no! I'm
going to
be late if I don't finish packing soon- Ah, Meiko! I left you lots of
food, 
and you can stay wherever you like." Soon, she and Meiko are embroiled
in 
packing the last of Miki's things, as they chat a little about their
lives,
and about the upcoming baby.

        After Miki finishes packing, she shows Meiko around the house.
When
Meiko exclaims over Miki's colorful design inspirations, Miki smiles
even
more brilliantly and points out all of the little thoughtful touches
that 
Yuu had put into their dream house. After the tour, Miki looks at her
watch,
and apologizes. "Meiko, I'm so sorry! I really have to go now! You can
stay 
as long as you like... I'll probably be back in a few weeks- I'll talk
to 
you later. Bye!"

        Meiko waves, a little bemused, and watches her happy friend
rush to 
catch a cab. Then she goes back inside to the brightly colored, cozy
little
house and smiles. "It looks exactly the way you would expect- All the
little
things that just yells out Miki and Yuu... I wonder what I'm going to
do 
while I'm here. I don't want to visit that- that place... not yet,
anyway. 
Maybe I'll visit all the places I've missed in Tokyo... I should say
hi 
to all of my schoolmates."

        Meiko looks at the cozy house, which seems too big for her
alone. 
"This feels like it was built for two people... We were going to visit
their
house after it was done, and give them a housewarming party-" She
sighs a 
bit and then starts when the doorbell rings. "Who could it be..."

        She opens the door, and starts to speak. "I'm sorry, but the 
Matsuuras aren't here right now- they're going to be in New York for-"
She 
looks at the person she is talking to, who looks understandably
shocked. 
"Ah- Miwa-san!" Miwa looks at her and then smiles in a gentle manner. 
"Akizuki... What are you doing here? Didn't you move back to
Hiroshima?"

        Meiko looks down at the ground, feeling uncomfortable for no
reason.
"I came back to Tokyo to try to write..." He looks at her for a
moment, 
before nodding. "I see. Well then, I won't bother you anymore. Please
tell
Yuu when he comes back that I have a few books that I borrowed from
him."
Waving goodbye, he leaves, leaving a suddenly bewildered Meiko behind.

        She knows that it's irrational, but she is irked by the fact
that he
has so easily put her out of his mind. She shakes her head. "I have no
time
for that sort of thing... I want to go visit all the places that
Shinichi
and I went to. Maybe that will help me start to write..."

        Suddenly, Miwa is in front of her again. Understandably
startled,
Meiko manages an undignified squeak before asking, "Miwa-san! Didn't
you
just-" Miwa grins at her, flashing a smile that is designed to charm.
"I
forgot something, of course. How could I leave without volunteering my

services on your quest to write? After all, I am the one that got you
started." He manages to look abashed and smug at the same time, as he
adds, 
"Did I just hear correctly that you needed transportation? I would be
happy
to provide-"

        Meiko can feel herself getting irritated by the cavalier way
Miwa 
is assuming control over her life, and can't help but to snap at him.
"For
your information, I never said that I needed transportation! I can
walk, or
take the train. And what are you doing lurking around people's homes, 
anyway?" Miwa smiles even more broadly as he says, "But you know that
you
want me to drive you around, right? Come on! Let's go. I'm not going
to let
you mope inside Yuu and Miki's house. Where do you want to go?"

        Feebly protesting, Meiko tries to stop him from dragging her
out
the door. "St-stop!" But looking at his humor-filled face, Meiko
realizes 
the impossibility of trying to stop him when he is like this- after
all, she 
should know. "Fine! Just let me get the keys-" 

------------

        "Well, where do you want to go?" He opens the door for her to
go 
into his car, and then closes it for her as well. Meiko looks at him
for a 
moment, wondering... just wondering what he thinks he's doing. "I'd
like to
go to the Toryu library, if you don't mind. It's-" 

        His voice suddenly softer and understanding, Miwa nods. "Don't
worry.
I understand... if you'd like, I'll wait outside for you. You can stay
as
long as you want- I'll wait." Startled, Meiko looks into his eyes.
They are
sadder than she had ever seen them. He looks back, and repeats, "I'll
wait."
She looks away then. "Miwa-san... I don't want to mislead you. I'm not
ready
for a relationship right now- or ever..."

        Miwa's voice is normal again as he says, "Akizuki, don't worry

about it. I'm not going to be pursuing you like before... I'm just
your lowly
chauffeur for you stay at Tokyo. So, shall we go?" She nods, and he
starts
to drive her toward the place which holds the sweetest memories for
her.
Once she is there, Meiko can't help but to blink back a few tears.
Only
a few, they show Miwa exactly how fiercely she is mourning. 

        His eyes are concerned as they watch her, but he puts on the
joker's 
mask to put her at ease. *If only she knew...* Smiling, he asks, "So
Akizuki,
do you want me to wait outside for you?" Meiko stops her contemplation
of 
the old, ivy-covered edifice. "No, Miwa-san. It's all right. I- I
could use 
someone in there with me." He nods and accompanies her inside the
building. 

        Once Meiko is inside, she goes into the room- to the table
where she 
and her Na-chan had spent so much time together, talking and enjoying
each
other's company. She sits, and memories threaten to overwhelm her as
she
starts to cry again. *Stop it, Meiko. You can't keep crying every
single
time something reminds you of him-*

        Her admonishing thoughts stop as she feels someone sitting
next to 
her- someone in Shinichi's seat. "Miwa-san..." He looks at her with 
understanding eyes, and gives her some paper and a pencil. "Akizuki-
instead
of wasting your energy on tears, write. Write the story that's trying
to
come out of you instead of suppressing it."

        She draws a deep breath, looking at the walls, at the shelves
which
hold those old, dusty books that she remembers so well. *Shinichi...
this
one I'm writing for you...* As she bends her head to write, Miwa
smiles and 
waits for her. 

-------------

        "I'm sorry I got you in trouble, Miwa-san..." Meiko's face is
red
as she remembers the way he had taken the blame for "breaking in" to
the
library. "I hadn't realized that we would need a pass..." Miwa, who is
still
looking a little flushed from the chastisement he had administered to
the 
unlucky person who had tried to evict them, grinned boyishly. 

        "I haven't had that much fun in a long time. But honestly! It
hasn't 
been that long since I graduated. You would think that they would
remember
Toryu U's school president..." His melodramatic, hurt expression makes

Meiko laugh out loud as he staggers around for a moment, his hand on
his
heart. "I'm feeling so forgotten!"

        Still laughing, she waits for him to open the door to his car.
"Still, I am sorry. And... I want to thank you for taking the time to
do this
with me. I would think that you, of all people, would not want to help
me 
while I am gathering material that will praise my husband..." She
blushes a 
little as she realizes how rude that had sounded.

        However, Miwa just laughs. "That is true! But I never said
that I 
didn't think your husband was praiseworthy. It's just the opposite! I
just 
think that you would do better with someone like me-" He stops
suddenly, and 
there is an uncomfortable silence in the car. Finally, he breaks the
silence 
with a quiet statement. "You know what I think, but I'm not going to
force 
you to do anything that you'll regret, or you're not ready for. I'll
wait..."

        Meiko waits before speaking for a moment. "Thank you,
Miwa-san. I 
don't know if I can... but if I could, you would be the first. I can
promise
you that, at the very least." The silence, this time one that is more
comfortable, lasts until he drops her off at Yuu and Miki's home.

        "When do you want me to pick you up tomorrow?" Meiko looks up
at him 
in surprise, and asks, "For what?" Miwa's reply surprises her. "I
don't 
think it would be a well-rounded story if you only go to one place for
you 
to try to remember him as best you can... I think that you should go
to all 
the places that has significance for you... it'll probably help you to
truly
redefine all the old ones that you have, and that is also the only way
you 
can truly do his memory justice."

        She nods in thanks, and says, "How about nine o'clock?" He
nods and
turns to leave. She steps into the house, and nearly misses what he
adds. 
"If you finally remember all of him... maybe someone else will have a
chance
to steal your heart." She closes the door firmly behind her, and then
sinks
to the floor.

        "I haven't been this happy in a long time... Shinichi, would
you 
mind? I don't think you would, but I can still feel you in my heart,
in my 
soul. I don't want to forget you... But could I stop him from stealing
my 
heart? Would I want to stop him? He did once, almost..."

------------

        Meiko throws another piece of paper into an already
overflowing trash
bin. "I can't do it! Why?" She almost throws her pen at the wall as
well,
but stops herself in time. She looks at the hand that had almost
discarded
one of her most precious memories, and can't see anything beyond the
tears
that has filled her eyes.

        "Why? This story my gift to Shinichi... I can't write it. Does
it 
mean that I can't let him go? That I won't? I- I don't know..."

        Suddenly, she hears the doorbell ring. "Akizuki!"

        She goes down and opens the door. "Miwa-san! What are you
doing here?
It's already nine o'clock at night!" He tells her, with a smile, "Come
on!
You're going to stop writing for one night, and you're coming with me!
Just
put on a dress, and let's go!"

        Meiko looks at the madly grinning man suspiciously, and says,
"You're
joking... How can I go looking like this? Besides, I have to finish-"
He 
gestures for her to go inside and change. "Come on! You can stop
writing 
for one day, and I'm sure you could use the break. Besides, you owe me
a
night, remember?"

        He said it quietly, gently, but Meiko knows how much it had
hurt him
when she had rejected their date to chase after... "All right! Just
let me
get dressed... couldn't you have told me sooner about this? Shinichi
always
let me-" Her expression is stricken, as she realizes what she had just
said.
"I mean-"

        "Meiko, I'm not Namura-san, and I'm not trying to be...
Anyway, hurry
up! We have to get there soon- I made reservations, you know!" As she
rushes
inside, she can't help but to smile. "How could he have known this was
exactly what I needed?"

------------

        "Are you ready?" Miwa watches her out of the corner of his eye
as he
drives, obviously concerned. Meiko nods quietly as she sits with her
hands 
clasped nervously in front of her. "I have to do this... I know I do.
It was
one of the reasons why I came back."

        Miwa stops the car and gets out. He opens the door for her,
and then
closes it after her. "We're at the place you told me to go to... is
this 
the-" Her slow, affirmative nod stops his question, and he smiles in a

gentle manner. "Then, I'll leave you here-"

        "No, please... stay." She ignores his look of surprise, and
turning
without seeing if he was behind her, goes to the street. She stops at
the
middle of the road, heedless of the danger, and kneels. She takes a
single
rose from her bag, and places it in front of her.

        "Oh-" She looks up at the street, seeing in her mind the
accident...
she feels the rush of wind, the sound... She notices Miwa standing in
front 
of her, redirecting traffic around her, and can feel vaguely grateful
for 
that kindness. But somehow, she can't seem to focus...

        Her heart is hurting in a way that she had almost forgotten-
the pain
was so sharp and immediate... She can't think beyond that hurt as she
tries 
to remember all that she can about that night, that horrible
accident... 
*For your tribute, my love...* The happy day, turning into that awful,

terrible night of loss, death.

        Meiko starts to sob as she sees that awful sight, over and
over 
again. His kindly face that were filled with pain, those gentle eyes
that 
were closed forever... It is rending her heart anew, the memories, but
she 
tries for her love to assimilate them. Channel the pain into her
pen...

        She opens her eyes and blinks at the sunlight that blinds her
for a 
moment. She feels a little wonder that it was still light- it had felt
as
if she had been crying forever... She looks up and sees Miwa valiantly
withstanding the shouts and annoyed glances of the people in the
automobile,
trying to keep her safe while she did what she must.

        He starts as her hand touches his shoulder. His questions are
in the 
expressive gaze that he levels on her, and under that look, she
smiles.
It was a tremulous, weak smile, but one that was tinged with a little
acceptance. "We can go now..." She walks to the car, while he gazes
back at
the single rose on the road. *I'll protect her... I promise you that.*

------------

        "Miwa-san... thank you again. This was incredibly-" Miwa
laughs, and
waves her thanks away. "Not at all, Akizuki. I am sort of your
manager, 
after all- I got you started in writing, right? So, of course I'm
going to
encourage you to write! This way, maybe you can start living your life

again..."

        Meiko's smile is tinged with a bit of regret as she looks at
the 
young man in front of her. "Thank you, Miwa-san. If you'd like, I'll
give
you a copy of the story before I send it in..." His smile is all the 
answer she needs, as she goes into the house. 

        She looks around the happy place, so full of joy and love. "I
can't 
believe this is happening to me again! My ending to the story... I
can't
decide... Can I really-" She sits on the couch, looking at the
ceiling.
"Can I really start over again? Live life as Miwa Meiko? Another link
to
him will disappear... where will Namura Meiko go?"

        "Where will I go?"

-------------

        "Done! Finally..." Meiko looks at the room that has become
like a 
home for the last two weeks. "I wonder when Miki's coming back. She
said
she was going to be back soon, but she seemed so busy!" She smiles a
little
sadly, knowing she is going to leave before the two whose house this
truly 
is comes back. 

        "But is it really? I don't know..."

-------------

        -To Satoshi Miwa- 

        Meiko looks at the package she is about to send Miwa, and she
knows
that she is being a coward. "How can I do this to him? I should tell
him...
But I can't. Not now... maybe not ever." She knows that this will kill

any chance of them having a relationship, but she can't deny her true 
feelings, not even for him.

        "Miwa-san, I'm sorry..."

---------------

        Meiko is in front of her husband's grave again. *Shinichi, I'm
back.
Here is the story that I wrote for you... I hope this is what you
would
like for me to do, if you knew...*

        She puts the loose pages of her story in front of her, smiling
down
sadly at the pages. "Because of this, I found so many little memories
that 
people tend to forget about others. I remembered so much more about
you 
because of this, my dear. I'm glad that I did this..."

        "But- Miwa-san. I did it to him again... I feel that he really

thought that this time... I thought so too. But at the last moment, I 
realized how much I loved you. No one could replace you... no one. She

smiles a little sadly, but then brightens. "But the trip to Tokyo did
show 
me that I can remember you now without crying. The memories I have of
you-
I can remember them without so much of the sadness... I can see the
part
that made them a happy memory in the first place."

        She kneels in front of the grave for a long time, the story's
pages
fluttering in front of her. Finally, as if fate has decided that those
loose
sheets had defied it long enough, one of the pieces in the pile flies
away,
making her cry out. She is about to stand and hope she can find it,
when
a voice that she knows very well says, "Don't worry. I have it."

        Meiko turns, dreading the confrontation that was sure to
follow. 
"Miwa-san..." She looks up at him, and is surprised to find him
smiling. 
"Here you go, Akizuki." He hands her the errant page, which she places
on
top of the pile. "Miwa-san- what are you doing here?"

        "I came to see you, of course-" Meiko starts to babble out an 
apology, something, anything that can alleviate this guilt, but he
stops 
her with a quiet hand on her arm. "Akizuki- I'm glad you can think of
him 
without pain. That is very good, and means that you must be starting
to 
heal-"

        Meiko pulls her arm away. In a voice full of
self-recrimination, she
says, "You must hate me now, after what I did. Why are you here? After
all,
I led you on, making you think- and then I didn't even have the
decency to
tell you in person! I sent you a letter and the story, and I didn't
even-"

        "Akizuki- Meiko, stop! You never promised me anything- in
fact, you 
told me many times that you weren't over him. I knew that! You don't
have to
feel guilty for anything- after all, I can't make you love me. I know
that. 
I've told you before... I'll always be there for you, in any way you
need 
me." He gestures to the grave. "When you were in Tokyo, you needed to
make 
peace with him. I helped by trying to get you to laugh again. If
anything
else had come of it, it would have been beyond the main point... not
that I 
would have minded..."

        He sighs. "But it doesn't matter. I accept your decision, and
I just 
came to tell you to be happy. That's all-" At this, Meiko starts to
cry, and
leans into Miwa's arms. Miwa looks down, gazing in surprise at the
woman who
is sobbing in his arm. He holds her close for a moment, before gently 
letting her go. "Meiko. I told you that it wasn't your fault-" 

        "You don't understand! It is my fault, and it would have been
my 
fault for driving you away forever if you hadn't come here. Don't you
see?
I'm a coward... I don't want to lose him- if I admit that I- if I had
told 
you, then it would have been like I was giving him up, that I was
admitting 
he was really gone..."

        Meiko reaches into her bag, and pulls out a crumpled piece of
paper.
"Here- this is the real ending, the one that I should have sent
you..."
Miwa reads the last page of the true story, the one she has written
with
her heart, and can't help but to want to shout out with joy.

        -She said goodbye to her first love, and went to live her life
with 
the man who had always been there for her-

        He is about to embrace her and confess his love, when her
quiet voice
stops him. "Do you see? I was about to let you go again, even though
I... I 
don't want you to go. How can you care about someone like me? I'm a
coward,
who doesn't even know who she loves more..." 

        At that statement, Miwa smiles at her sadly. He hands the
paper 
back to her, telling her, "It's you who doesn't understand. Meiko... I
will 
always love you and will be there for you. But you have to realize
that 
I'm not the one that has to make the decision..."

        He sighs. "I'm not trying to take Namura's place- I know how
truly
impossible that is. Besides, how could I expect you to feel the same
thing
for me as you felt for him? He and I are two different people, and two
different things to you... I'm willing to make new memories with you,
if 
you'll let me, but you have to decide how you want to live."

        He steps away, and starts to leave. "Goodbye, Meiko."

        She stares at the paper in her hand, and suddenly, tears start
to 
fall from her eyes once again. But this time, it is the pain of his
leaving 
that is causing it... his parting is bringing her almost as much pain
as the
time when she had realized that Shinichi had left her forever-

        "Wait... Please..." He walks out of her life, one step at a
time, as
she watches in despair. "Please... Satoshi. I-" She starts to sob in
front
of her late husband's grave, knowing that the last person who had been
capable of making her love had just left her forever- 

        "What is it, Meiko?"

        Meiko stares, speechless as she hears Miwa behind her. Her
first 
instinct is to hurt him, but her second prevails. She turns and
embraces
him fiercely. "Me-meiko..." She does what she had done so long ago.
She
goes up to her toes, and gives him a kiss, right on the lips. Then she
gives him a fierce punch right on the arm, and starts to laugh and cry
at
the same time.

        "Miwa-san... no, Satoshi. Don't you ever do that again...
you-"
Her expression makes him laugh as well. They stand there, holding each
other
and laughing, until she stops. Quietly, she finally says the words
that she
knew she truly felt. "I- I love you too..."

        It feels right to Meiko that she stands embracing her love on
the
grave of her last, and first love. *Shinichi, I think that you
approve...*
Her spirit soars as her heart expands to encompass this new love that
has
a special place all its own in her soul. *I can't ever say goodbye to
you,
but I can live on...*

---Finis---

-----
monica@pipeline.com - http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/
-fics,pics,tapes!
CLAMP stuffs- RGV, TB, X, MKR, CCD, 20 Menso, Duklyon, CCSakura, Wish,
LOGH, MBoy, GWing, Esca, RKenshin, FY, YYH, EVA, Zetsuai/Bronze
Fav. Charas- Akira, Duo, Heero, Hiei, Izumi, Kenshin, Siegfried,
Subaru

--- END

Ciao ! 

Daichi
Fan #1 Hime-Chan no Ribon
Fan #1 Marmalade Boy
http://www.cervia.com/manga 
daichi@freenet.hut.fi
-----------------------------
Coordinatore del MBFC (Marmalade Boy Fun Club)
Italiano
-----------------------------