Ciao !!

Ecco la seconda Fanfic di MB ! ^__^

-- 

Heaven's Gifts: By Monica Shin

        "Miki? Where are you?" Yuu's voice floated up from the living
room to where
Miki was standing. "Yuu- I'm right here!" She adjusted the folds on
the
curtain, and then stretched. She smiled as she looked at the brightly
decorated room, seeing that all the work had paid off. Suddenly, arms
went
around her stomach and a voice whispered, "There you are..."

        "Yuu! Stop it! That tickles!" Miki's giggles ceased as he
smiled at her and
let her go, asking her, "So, what are you doing here?" She gave him a
mock-angry glare. "As if you didn't know! Do you realize how much work
needs
to be done on this room before it's the way I planned it? We have to
make at
least 3 more trips to-" As she gazed at the sinking expression on his
face,
Miki couldn't keep up the teasing.

        "Just kidding! Actually, I'm just about done decorating. So,
what do you
think? Look around, not as a husband, but as-" Miki stopped speaking
as he
started to look around, carefully inspecting each hanging, each little
frill. Finally, he stopped his circuit and then gave her a grave look.
"Hmm... I think that..." He paused, giving the room another look,
before
smiling. "I think that it's wonderful!"

        He started to laugh as Miki started to bombard him with
ineffectual hits on
the arms and chest. "Yuu! Don't tease-" Then, she got a strange
expression
on her face. "Ah!" Yuu stopped laughing immediately. "Miki! What is
it? Are
you all right? Is it-" She looked up at him with one hand on her
stomach,
and then gave him a gentle smile.

        Yuu sighed in relief, seeing it was nothing serious. "Miki,
you are all
right?" Miki nodded, still smiling. "Our baby just moved! I guess that
means
he likes this room, just like his father- I'm glad, since this room is
going
to be his for quite a while. Ah! He did it again- Yuu, put your hand
right
here." Miki smiled as Yuu knelt down beside her slightly swelled
stomach,
putting one hand gently where she had indicated. "There? Did you
feel?" Yuu
gave her a silly grin, one that told her exactly how elated he was. "I
think
I did... Oh, Miki-" 

        Miki sat down next to him, her back aching a little from the
day's
exertions. Yuu gazed at her with concern as she sighed and closed her
eyes,
rubbing the back of her neck slowly. "Tired?" Miki responded to Yuu's
gentle
question with a little nod, and leaned against him. "You know that you
shouldn't tire yourself so much!"

        "Yuu, I'm only in my 5th month! Don't worry so much about me.
Ah!" Miki's
little shriek was cut off as she opened her eyes. She found herself
being
carried over to their own bedroom. "Yuu! What are you doing?" Yuu
ignored
her and carried her into their cozy room, putting her down onto their
bed.
He tucked her in, making sure she was comfortable.

        "Yuu! I've got so many other things to do-" He put one finger
to her lips,
and then turned off the lights. "Miki, you are going to go to sleep
for a
few hours. I'll take care of dinner and everything else, so just make
sure
you're rested and feeling better. OK?" Miki gave him a rueful grin,
and then
nodded. "Yes, husband..." 

        Yuu gave her a small kiss on her forehead. "Good, my dear
wife." Then he
placed a hand over her rounded stomach. "And good, my little child.
You rest
up too, and don't give your mother a hard time..." He left his wife in
bed
and went to take care of dinner.

---------------

        The doorbell rang as Yuu was putting the soup to boil. After
wiping his
hands on a towel, and making sure the rice wasn't burning, he went to
get
the door. "Satoshi-san! Meiko!" The couple stood at the entranceway,
smiling
at his disarray. "Don't tell me Miki didn't remind you she invited us
over
for dinner!" 

        "Well, Miki's actually been sleeping, so I suppose she didn't.
Um, why
don't you both come in? I think that there'll be enough for four- I
just
have to add a few more things to dinner." Miwa and Meiko followed Yuu
into
the house, seating themselves in the living room.  As Yuu went into
the
kitchen, he asked them, "Would either of you like some coffee while
you
wait? I'm probably going to be a while-" 

        Meiko smiled, and told Yuu, "Miki told us to come over for a
little quiet
time, and because she wanted to show off the new nursery. I want to
talk to
her about the baby shower, too. She told me it was too soon, but...
Well,
I'll go wake her up." She gave Miwa a meaningful nudge. Miwa looked at
her
questioningly, at which Meiko pointed his head toward the kitchen. "I
think
that my lady is telling me to go help you with the coffee. I'll be
there in
a moment." 

        Miwa sighed a bit, shaking his head. Meiko pulled Miwa up from
the couch
and gently shoved him to the kitchen's direction. "Don't be so lazy!"
Miwa
gave her a formal bow. "Of course, my lady. Your every whim shall be
undertaken by this humble servant." As Meiko smiled and turned to go
upstairs, she replied, "I don't think humble is the word you should
use,
Satoshi..." Miwa smiled, gave a long-suffering sigh that was patently
false,
and went to help Yuu in the kitchen. 

------------

        "Miki-chan... are you awake?" Meiko crept into the couple's
bedroom,
wondering if she should wake her friend. She looked down on the bed,
where
Miki was sleeping so peacefully, and then patted the blanket. Looking
at her
tired face, Meiko whispered, "I think that we'll come back when you
don't
seem so..."

        "Ah!" Miki grimaced in pain, curling up into a fetal position.
"Miki!
What's wrong?" Miki opened her eyes, smiling weakly at Meiko.
"Meiko...
don't worry- it was just another cramp. I think that I've been working
too
hard, but I've been so busy- Oh no! I completely forgot that I invited
you
over..." Miki started to get up from the bed, still apologizing.

        Meiko smiled at her friend, and made her lie back down. "Miki,
don't worry
about it, ok? Satoshi and I will have dinner with Yuu, while you are
going
to be resting right here." Concern in her eyes, Meiko added, "I think
that
you should be going to the doctor about those cramps, too..."

        Miki nodded, and then let herself be put to bed by Meiko. "You
know,
everyone is treating me like such a baby! I'm just pregnant, not
dying..."
Meiko smiled at the half exasperated, half petulant tone that Miki was
using. "Miki, we just don't want anything to happen to you or the
baby, ok?
Now, go back to bed."

------------

        "So, how is Miki?" Miwa's casual question made Yuu turn
around. Smiling,
Yuu said in a proud tone, "She's just fine, and so is the baby. Today,
we
both felt the baby move..." Miwa moved into the kitchen, taking the
coffee
away from Yuu. "I'll do this. You make sure the soup isn't dying over
there-" Miwa looked at Yuu with a slight smile on his face, as Yuu
went to
save his dinner from boiling over.

        "Yuu, I think that Miki's had an effect on you. I've never
know you to be
so obviously happy before..." Yuu grinned at the man he thought of as
his
brother. "Well, it's hard not to be, when your life is going so well.
I've
just gotten another job that lets me do something creative, and my
wife is
pregnant with our first child. What more could anyone ask for?" 

        As Yuu turned toward the stove to shut it off, he told Miwa,
"You and Meiko
seem to be doing well also..." Miwa nodded as he started the coffee.
"She
and I are fine... we're probably not going to be marrying for a while
because she wants to be on the Namura family register until everything
is
worked out. Still, the Namura family approves, and so do my family-
that's
all I really care about."

        As Yuu takes the pot off of the stove, Miwa starts to take out
the dishes
from the cupboard. "I think that if we weren't happy, there would be
something wrong with both of us, don't you?" Yuu nodded happily. Meiko
came
into the room as both of them were grinning and nodding at each other.

        "Ah... Satoshi? Yuu? Are you both ok?" Miwa smiled at her, and
said, "Don't
worry, Meiko. We're just very happy." Miwa gave both of them a
skeptical
look, before continuing. "I let Miki sleep because she seemed rather
tired.
I'm worried about her a bit-" 

        Yuu's expression was almost panicked as he turned around, soup
forgotten on
the counter. "What's wrong?" Meiko smiled and patted him gently on the
arm.
"Yuu, keep calm. It's just that she just had a cramp right now, and
she
looks a bit too tired. Maybe we should call the doctor, just in case-"

        "She didn't tell me that she was having pains! We've got to
call the doctor
right away and-" Miwa and Meiko looked at each other for a moment. In
a
whisper, Miwa told Meiko, "His famous cool disappears when Miki's at
stake,
doesn't it?" Meiko nodded, adding, "Her and the baby... we'd better
make
sure he doesn't go overboard-"

        Miwa goes over to Yuu, placing his hands on Yuu's shoulders.
"Yuu! Calm
down! If you panic, think of what Miki will do!" Suddenly, they heard
a moan
coming from Miki's room. Then, a shriek. "Yuu!" Yuu leapt up and
started up
the stairs, followed closely by Miwa and Meiko. "Miki! Are you all
right?
What's wrong?"

        Yuu stopped when he saw his crying wife. "Yuu... I-I'm
bleeding, and it
hurts..." Yuu paled and then looked around in a panicked manner.
"Mi-miki-
don't worry. I'll call the doctor and-" He stopped as he felt a
calming hand
on his arm. Meiko gave him a stern look. "Yuu! I said this before- if
you
aren't calm, how do you think Miki's going to feel?"

        Yuu looked at her as if emerging from a dream, and his face
smoothed over.
Projecting a calm that he did not feel, Yuu knelt down beside Miki.
"Shh-
don't worry Miki. I'll get you down to the hospital. Don't worry, ok?
Nothing's going to happen-" He took his wife into his arms, and
started to
carry her down the stairs.

        When he was half way down the stairs, he looked back at Meiko
and Miwa.
Miwa waved him away, and told him, "Don't worry! We're going to be
right
behind you, ok? We'll call the doctor for you- just get her to the
hospital
quickly! Go!" Yuu nodded his thanks, and half-ran to his car. 

        "Oh, Satoshi..." Miwa nodded grimly. "We'd better call and get
down to the
hospital quickly... I'm afraid that-" He didn't go on, not wanting to
say
what both of them knew. Instead, Meiko gave him a fierce embrace for a
moment, before pushing him toward the phone. "I'll call the doctor,
and you
get the car ready and lock up."

---------------

        "Matsuura-san?" Yuu looked up from the chair that he had been
sitting in,
his face anxious. "Yes?" The nurse indicated the room that he was
supposed
to go in to. "Aoshima-sensei wants you to come in, too. She says that
it's
urgent..." Yuu nodded and got up quickly, and went to the door the
nurse had
pointed to. 

        "Aoshima-sensei?" The doctor looked up from a chart as Yuu
walked into the
room. "Matsuura-san. Please have a seat." Yuu took the chair,
obviously
agitated. "Sensei, what's wrong with my wife? Is it-" Yuu was stunned
to
silence as the doctor nodded sadly. 

        The doctor put one hand on his arm, and told him in a soft,
sympathetic
voice, "Matsuura-san. I'm deeply sorry, but your wife just had a
spontaneous
abortion- a miscarriage. We're not sure what happened, but from the
tests,
it seems that this was the cause of an incompetent cervix- the cervix
started to open, and there was no way to stop it from opening in time
to
save the-" 

        All that the doctor had said filtered slowly into Yuu's mind.
Somewhere, he
could hear her speak on, about how it had been inevitable once the
cervix
had opened, and that Miki was- "My wife! How is she? Will she be-" The
doctor gave him a quiet smile as she managed to give him some good
news.
"Don't worry about Miki-san. Miscarriages are rarely harmful unless it
is
incomplete- she'll be fine."

        Aoshima realized how hard this must be for Yuu, and kept her
lecture short.
Smiling at him in an calming manner, she told him, "I'm keeping her in
the
hospital for observation, but I'll let her go in a few days. She's in
room
304, if you want to see her-"

        Yuu knew that it was rude, but he bowed hastily, and then ran
to the
elevator. He didn't know what to think. His life had seemed so perfect
just
a few hours ago, but now... "Room 304- Oh, Miki..." 

-------------

        "I hate hospitals..." Meiko's voice rang in the corridor as
she hurried
after Miwa. "They remind me too much of death..." Miwa turned to her,
and
grasped her hand. "Don't think like that! We have to be positive, for
Miki
and Yuu's sake. Right?" Meiko nodded, but she couldn't stop the single
tear
that ran down her cheek. 

        "Miwa-san! Meiko!" They both turned in surprise to the people
coming toward
them. "Ginta! Arimi-san! How did you get here so quickly?" Arimi
stopped
running, and waited for her husband to come up from behind her before
answering. "When we got your phone call, we knew that Miki-san and
Yuu-kun
would need all the support we could give them. So we got into the car
and-"

        Arimi fell silent as Ginta added, "-and was almost killed by
my reckless
driving... But Meiko, we were so concerned! Do you know-" Meiko shook
her
head. "We just got here ourselves, after we called the doctor and
everyone
else-" They all started to go into the hospital together, hoping
against
hope that perhaps...

--------------

        "Miki?" Yuu's quiet question rang in the dark room. "Miki, are
you-" Yuu
stopped and closed the door behind him. Silent now, he went to the bed
where
his wife was sobbing desolately, curled in a fetal position. He sat
down
next to her, and embraced her. "Miki..."

        "Yuu... I-I lost the baby. Our baby. He's gone... why? What
did I do?
Why..." She turned away from his embrace, curling over her now-flat
stomach.
"Yuu. I-I can't see you right now- I'm sorry. Please... just
please..." Yuu
looked away from his wife, knowing he should stay with her. But the
hopelessness he had just heard made it impossible to go against Miki's
wishes. 

        "I'll be right outside, ok? I-" He couldn't stand it anymore,
the soft
sobbing and quiet despair. He left the room, and sat outside, waiting
and
hoping that perhaps she would call him back in. As he sat, he could
feel the
wall growing higher and higher- the same wall that had come down so
long ago
on that beach.

        "Our child... gone. Why?" He echoed Miki's heartbroken
questions in his own
despairing voice, asking whatever god or power why. Sitting there, he
wished, and prayed, but there was no reply. The wall kept growing, ice
freezing in his heart, trying to block out the pain. Keeping the tears
in
his heart from appearing...

---------------

        "Please tell us where our daughter is!" Rumi's voice alerted
the rest to
their arrival. "Rumi-san! Please tell them that we'd like to know
too!"
Miwa's voice carried to the desk where the parents were standing.
"Miwa!
Meiko-chan! There you two are! I see that you called Arimi-chan and
Suoh
too." Miwa nodded, and let the anxious parents get the Miki's room
number
out of the nurse much more efficiently than they ever could.

        "We demand to know where our daughter is!" Chiyako's
commanding voice
filled the waiting room, making the nurse extremely nervous. That, and
the
fact that there were two very anxious fathers hovering right behind
her.
"Where's my baby? How is she? Doesn't anyone know?" Jin's voice
blended
right in with Chiyako's, making the nurse even more confused.

        "Please! Be quiet while I work this out..." The nurse stared
at the four
skeptically. "Now, please. You are looking for a Matsuura Miki, is
that
correct?" The four nodded in unison. "All right then. Now, what is
your
relation to the patient? I'm afraid that we would prefer it if only
family
sees her right now..." 

        Youji's anxious question stopped her calm speech. "Why? What's
wrong? Why
only family?" The nurse looked at the four people in front of her, who
was
getting even more agitated, and tried to reassure them. "Please! The
patient
is fine. Now, which of you are family?" All four raised their hands.
"Ah...
perhaps I should phrase this better. Who are her parents?" All four
raised
their hands again. "Ah- well, if you-" 

        Miwa's smooth interference stopped her comments. "It's a
complicated
situation, ah-" He glanced quickly at her name card, and added,
"Aoike-san.
Please, we're all very worried about poor Miki-chan, not to mention
her
husband-" Both Miwa and the nurse ignored the wailing of the two
mothers at
the mention of their older children, and Miwa gave Nurse Aoike a
winning
smile. The nurse looked at him, and at the agitated parents, before
looking
down to get the room number.

        "Matsuura-san is in room 304. Please keep quiet and make your
visit short-"
The nurse looked up and blinked in surprise to find that the parents
had
already gone up the stairs. Miwa gave her an apologetic smile, before
rushing his wife and the rest to the elevator. As they were going to
the
third floor, Arimi asked in a quiet tone, "Only family? Why?" Ginta
drew her
to him fiercely. He said in a somber tone, "I think we know..." All of
them
looked at each other, and then looked away. Meiko's soft voice echoed
in the
elevator. "We all know why..."

------------

        "Yuu! Oh, honey- are you all right? What happened?" Yuu looked
up from his
withdrawn daze to see his mother hovering over him. "Mama... she's in
there-
go see her, please." Youji went to his side, kneeling down beside him.
"Yuu,
why aren't you in there with Miki-chan?" Yuu stared up at his father
dully,
and said in a quiet voice, "She asked me to leave. Please go see her,
Rumi-san, Jin-san. I think that she needs all of you very badly right
now."

        Yuu looked back down to the carpet, feeling the walls
building. Afraid to
open his heart once more... He missed the saddened gazes his parents'
threw
at each other, but heard them go quietly into the room. He heard the
elevator open, and then looked up as he heard his friends' voices.

        "Yuu! What are you doing out in the hall?" Ginta's voice was
overly loud,
but when Arimi nudged him, he blushed and then said in a quieter
voice, "Are
you all right?" When Yuu didn't respond, Ginta looked up at the rest
of the
group. In a helpless sort of way, he gave Yuu a pat on the back. "Hey,
Yuu..." Arimi smiled at her husband gently and asked him, "Ginta, why
don't
you and Meiko-san go get Yuu some coffee?" 

        Meiko looked at Arimi with questions in her eyes, to which
Arimi  pointed
to herself, and Miwa. Nodding in understanding, Meiko smiled gently
and
moved Ginta away from the two who would hopefully draw Yuu out of his
isolation. As they left, Arimi shook her head at Ginta, looking at the
confused young man with a slight smile on her face. Arimi sighed, and
looked
up to see Miwa grinning at his antics. They shared rueful grins, and
then
looked back down to Yuu.

--------------

        "Miki-chan? Are you awake?" The parents' boisterous manner had
faded now,
leaving all of them terribly serious. Rumi's quiet voice reached Miki,
who
lifted her tear-stained face. "Mama? Papa?" Her quiet, sad tone made
all of
them see how unlike herself she was. She started to cry again, making
both
Rumi and Jin go up to her side, while Chiyako and Youji guarded the
foot of
the bed.

        "I- the baby... our child. He's gone... why? What did I do?"
Her desolate
words were drowned out by sobs, leaving her parents able to do nothing
except hold her. "Yuu... he-he must hate me now... How could I have
lost our
child?" At this, both Chiyako and Youji reacted. "Miki-chan! You can't
believe that? Yuu doesn't blame you at all! You must realize that..." 

        Chiyako realized that her words weren't getting through, and
stopped. For a
moment, there was silence except for the sobs and the reassurances
that Rumi
was whispering to Miki. There was nothing they could do, except watch
her,
and hold her while she cried herself out. Finally, they left her to
sleep,
and went out, their hearts hurting even more. 

---------------

        "Yuu- Yuu! Look at me!" Yuu gazed up at the face of his
once-girlfriend.
"Arimi, don't worry about me..." His comment was cut off as Arimi
slapped
him sharply. "Yuu! You idiot! Don't you realize how Miki must be
feeling
now? She just lost the baby, and she probably thinks she lost you!
Stop
being such an idiot!"

        Yuu dropped the hand that he had placed over his burning
cheek. Looking
down at the linoleum, he spoke on, ignoring the furious Arimi. "She
told me
to leave her alone... I don't think she wants to see me right now. She
shouldn't... it must be my fault, I think. I should have told her to
be more
careful... maybe if I hadn't lifted her so violently..."

        Miwa's angry words cut through Yuu's words. "Yuu... you know
that I love
you like a brother. But sometimes, you are a complete idiot! Stop
wallowing
in your own misery, and think about your wife in that room! She's
crying and
feeling terrible, and what are you doing? Just sitting here, indulging
your
own guilt!"

        Miwa's voice turned a bit warmer as he knelt down in front of
Yuu. "Go in
and see your wife. Both of you lost something irreplaceable, but you
should
be together in your grief. And Yuu... if you're feeling guilty, think
of how
Miki must be feeling..." Arimi knelt down next to him, and whispered,
"Don't
let this make you become like the guy you were before- if only for
Miki-chan."

        They all heard the door open, and the four adults coming out.
Rumi and
Chiyako were crying, and the men weren't much better, either.
"Miki..."
Chiyako went up to Yuu. "Why aren't you with your wife? Do you realize
she
thinks that you blame her for the-" Yuu leapt up, shocked. "How could
she
think such a thing? Of course it's not her fault!" Rumi shook her head
sadly. "But she doesn't know that..." Yuu sat back down and put his
hands to
his face. "Oh gods. Miki... Why?"

-------------

        "So, we're basically pushed out of the way while the two of
them talk to
Yuu?" Meiko smiled, and handed Ginta a cup of coffee. "Basically.
After all,
those two are closer to Yuu than we are." They both sat down on a
couple of
chairs near the food vending machines to wait until Arimi and Miwa
were
done. Ginta nodded, his smile fading as he remembered why he was here
in the
first place. "Poor Miki... she must be totally devastated." 

        Meiko looked down, and couldn't stop the tears. "We were
visiting her
because... because she was so proud of the nursery- she had put her
whole
heart into designing a room that would make a child feel loved and
wanted,
and she had just finished..." She felt Ginta's sadness as well, as he
put a
hand on her shoulder. 

        "Miki and Yuu were so excited... they came to ask us for
advice, because we
had already had children. I never thought that... I never realized how
lucky
Arimi and I were, having such healthy children. I never realized... If
we
had lost Yuriko and Ryo, I don't know what we would have done."
Ginta's
rough voice was lost as he stared down into his coffee. "If this had
happened to us... I really don't know what we could have done."

        They both sat there for a little while, quiet and sad.
Finally, Meiko spoke
up. "Did you know... When she told me that she was pregnant, I was
totally
and horribly jealous for a moment- this was when I hadn't seen Miwa
yet. I
had wanted a child so badly, but Shinichi had... I thought that there
was
nothing worse than what I had felt when I realized that Shinichi and I
would
never have children... but I was wrong. This- to have such joy just
taken
away, for no reason, when you know... it's horrible."

        "Terrible, awful... all of it. You can't know how a parent
feels when a
child is in any sort of danger... Arimi and I had a few times when we
were
just terrified that something had happened to Yuriko and little Ryo.
But I
can't even conceive of a world without my children. How could this
have
happened to Yuu and Miki? They're the last two people to whom things
like
this should happen to..."

        Meiko's bitter laugh rang through the hallway. "There's one
thing I've
learned in my life, Ginta. Things that shouldn't happen to people
still
happen, whether we like it or not. It's the picking up afterwards that
we
can always affect... if only for the people that are left behind."
Ginta
nodded, and then got up. "I think we've given them long enough, don't
you? I
think cold coffee is the last thing he needs right now."

-------------

        Miwa saw his wife and Ginta coming with the promised coffee in
their hands.
"Satoshi? What is it?" Miwa shook his head as he looked at the
confused Yuu.
"He still doesn't get it... Meiko, I want you and Ginta to go talk to
Miki.
She needs some friends right now, and if Yuu can't, someone has to-"
He and
Arimi took her and Ginta aside, away from Yuu and the parents.

        Miwa let Arimi tell them what had happened, and of how Miki
was blaming
herself. Meiko looked shocked, but Ginta... he was glaring at Yuu and
was
clenching his fists. "Ginta! What are you doing?" Ginta looked down at
his
concerned wife, and said in a low, tight voice, "I'm going to go beat
him up
for not being with Miki now! Doesn't he realize-"

        Arimi's voice was sharp. "Of course he realizes! But how would
you feel if-
if we had lost Ryo! You can't expect him to be perfect, no matter what
kind
of person he usually is. He's dealing with this by retreating into
himself
again..." Miwa nodded in agreement. "He's doing like he always does,
and
this time, Miki's not there to draw him out... and he's not there for
her."

        Miwa shook his head, sighing as he looked at Yuu. "They're
both trying to
cope, but without each other, it just doesn't work. The problem is
that we
can't do anything about it! We tried to talk to him, but he's too far
gone... maybe you guys will have better luck with Miki? I don't
know...
but-" Meiko went over to him, leaning against him. Her whisper was
enough.
"If they don't talk, if they wall themselves up- they can't ever be
happy
together... not anymore."

        Ginta took Arimi's hand, and squeezed tightly. She looked up
at her
husband, and gave him a sad smile. Finally, he let her hand go, and
then
looked at Meiko. They both nodded, and went past both the crying,
horrified
parents to Miki's room. 

---------------

        "Rumi... what should we do?" Chiyako's voice was desolate as
she looked
down at her son, and remembered what her daughter had looked like.
Rumi's
voice shook as she sighed, and leaned against her husband. "I- I don't
know.
What can we do? Miki... my little girl. How could this have happened-"
Rumi
felt her tears coming down again, but ignored them. Instead, she
leaned
against Youji even more, feeling safer in his arms. 

        "Miki-chan... how could this happen to her? I don't
understand- you two are
much older, but your pregnancies were..." Youji stopped as Jin sighed.
"I
don't know exactly... but I think that we were more careful, and were
more
worried, looking for any signs of trouble- if something had happened,
we
would have caught it. But Miki and Yuu- maybe they didn't realize
things
like this could happen? I don't know... but they're blaming themselves
for
something that isn't their fault...

        Jin put his arms around Chiyako for a moment, as if assuring
himself that
his wife was still there. "If this had happened when you two were
about to
have Yumeko and Kazuya..." Youji nodded. "We would probably be acting
about
as badly as Yuu- if not worse. I don't know..." 

--------------

        "Miki?" They went into the room quietly, not quite sure what
they would
find. "Are you awake?" Meiko's soft whisper made Miki sit up on the
bed.
"Meiko..." Ginta came up behind Miki, and he gave her a fierce hug.
"Miki,
are you all right? You know that this wasn't your fault!" His voice
was loud
and pained as he tried to give some comfort in a situation where no
comfort
could be given...

        "Ginta..." Miki took herself away from his embrace, and sat at
the middle
of the bed, hugging her knees. "I'm sorry... could you please just-
just
leave? I- I need to be by myself..." Suddenly, tears started to fall
involuntarily from her eyes. "Just... please." Ginta started to back
away,
his face filled with pain, and sadness. 

        "Miki, we're right her for you... don't ever doubt that."
Meiko went up to
Miki, and embraced her, not only as a friend, but also as someone who
had
also gone through loss. "Don't be afraid to cry, but don't blame
yourself. I
know how that feels..." Miki tried to resist her gentle embrace, but
soon
found herself clinging to Meiko. "Meiko... I-" Miki couldn't go on,
and just
cried as Meiko murmured soothing noises to her. "Shh- I know, Miki. I
know..." 

        Above Miki's head, Meiko gave Ginta a helpless look. He
shrugged and gave
Miki a compassionate look. They both knew all they could do was hold
her-
they couldn't heal her pain... where could they even start? Finally,
Miki
fell asleep, exhausted and in pain. As they left the dark room, Ginta
gave
the door an angry glare. "Why can't he-" Meiko's hand on his shoulder
and
her words calmed him slightly. "Because inside, he's crying just like
Miki..."

---------------

        Everyone who could stay had settled down in whatever places
they could for
the night. No one had wanted to leave, but Arimi and Ginta had their
children, and so did the parents. Meiko and Miwa were assigned as
watchers-
if anything went wrong at all, they had the task of alerting everyone
else.
Yuu couldn't be persuaded away from the door, so the two went to get
him a
blanket and something to eat. 

        "Miki..." Yuu lifted his face away from his knees, and got up
slowly. He
still heard her sobs, and her voice asking him to leave, but he
couldn't
just stay away. He opened the door carefully, and went into the room.
There,
he saw his pale, fragile wife sleeping in the cold, sterile room.

        He sat down next to her, and saw her tear-stained face. He put
one hand on
her cheek to try to wipe them away, but felt that she was still
crying, even
in her sleep. "Miki... I- I'm sorry..." He couldn't say anything more,
and
just watched his wife crying in her sleep. He felt his own dry face.
"Why is
it that I'm not crying? Why..." 

        Yuu tried for words, and found one. "Guilt- that's all I see
when I look at
you... my poor Miki. I'm sorry, but I can't seem to cry... I can't
help
you." He gave her a light kiss on the cheek, and then crept away. As
he sat
down onto the floor, he whispered, "My guilt... how can you ever
forgive me?" 

        Miki opened her eyes as he left. Her whisper was almost
inaudible as she
put her face into the pillow. "How can you not cry? Do you blame me
that much?"

---------------

        "Miki, Yuu- are you two sure that we should leave you guys
alone? You don't
have to act like-" Yuu nodded. "Satoshi-san, don't worry so much about
us!
We'll be fine..." Miwa gave him and Miki an uncertain look, but then
sighed.
"All right- you two are adults, so I'm sure you'll be fine. But if you
need
anything-" 

        "Don't worry! We'll call you two, ok?" Yuu waved as Miwa left
them, and
then ushered Miki inside. "Miki, why don't you go lie down? I'll-"
Miki gave
him a wan smile, and nodded. She went up the stairs without saying
anything,
and as soon as she had left, Yuu's cheerful expression faded.

        "Miki..." He gazed up at the silent stairs, and then went to
make dinner.
When he got to the kitchen, he saw the remains of what had been soup a
few
days ago, still sitting atop of the counter. He took the pot and
started to
wash out what was left, but somehow, his vision started to mist over. 

        Yuu felt them running down his cheeks- tears. Why? Why was he
crying now,
of all times? He looked into the pot he was scrubbing, and couldn't
stop
himself from crying. They just kept coming... He finished washing up,
and
then proceeded to try to make dinner, when he heard a crash. Rushing
up the
stairs, he yelled out, "Miki? Are you all right?"

        When Yuu got to the second floor, he saw where the noise was
coming from.
The nursery lights were on, and Miki was inside... "Miki! What's-" The
sight
that greeted him shocked him to silence. A lamp was on the floor,
shattered
to pieces. The curtains were torn and flung onto different parts of
the
room, and Miki was huddled in the middle, crying. 

        "Miki..." Yuu went to his wife, and knelt down beside her.
"Miki?" He saw
her look up and gasp. "Miki, are you-" He felt her hands on his
cheeks, and
Yuu realized that he was still crying. "Oh- I don't know why, but for
some
reason, I just started to cry when I saw the ruined soup... but Miki,
are you-"

        Miki looked at her husband with clear eyes for the first time
since this
horrible ordeal had started. She looked into his face, at the haunted
eyes
and the strained expression. "Yuu... oh gods, Yuu- I'm so sorry..."
She took
him into her arms, and placed his head on her shoulder. "I've totally
forgotten-"

        Yuu stayed in his wife's embrace for a moment, feeling the
walls break down
again. "Miki... I feel like this is all my fault- I wouldn't blame you
if-"
He looked up as Miki shook her head violently. "Yuu! How could you
think
that it's your fault! It must be mine-" Yuu pulled away from her
embrace
gently, this time becoming her refuge.

        "Miki... you can't blame yourself. I think I'll always blame
myself for not
doing something, anything- but it's not your fault. Maybe it's not
anyone's
fault... but all I know is that we lost something beautiful and
special..."
They clung to each other for what seemed like eternity, each feeling
the
pain in the other's heart. 

        Finally, their tears stopped, and they looked up at the room.
It was a
mess, with half of the decorations torn off or strewn about, but they
could
still see what it was supposed to have been- a place where that
beautiful
dream would have been... "Yuu... I'm sorry about the room, but I don't
think
I can come in here anymore..." Yuu looked around, his heart sick with
grief.
"I don't think I can, either... Miki, come on. You have to get some
rest, ok?"

        As Yuu lead his wife out of the nursery, he looked back for a
moment. "No,
I don't think I'll be coming in here anymore... Not with our memories
like
this..." He turned off the lights and closed the door. 

-------------

        "Meiko-san, how are Yuu and Miki-san really doing?" 
        "Honestly? When I last visited them, they seemed to be like
they were
before- happy and very much in love. But..." 
        "But?"
        "The nursery door is locked... I don't think they're going to
be using it
as anything beside a shrine..."
        "It's to be expected. I couldn't imagine using Ryo's room as
anything else
if- Yuriko! Put your brother down! - I'm sorry about that... ever
since
Ryo's started to walk..."
        "I understand. I'll probably be asking you for more advice as
the months go
on..."
        "You don't mean that-"
        "Not yet. But since I married Satoshi, I've been hoping..."
        "Does Miki-san know?"
        "Yes... It makes her worried, but not truly sad... Miki has
such a large
heart."
        "She does... But they are truly getting better?"
        "Well, she's had enough energy to go on one of those exhibits
in America.
The last one she went to was before the miscarriage- she had been
planning
the nursery..."
        "Oh- I see. And Yuu? Is he back to work-"
        "Very much so- he and Satoshi are working on a project
together- a job they
have total creative direction over- that's all Satoshi and he can talk
about."
        "I'm glad. When it happened, and Yuu became so withdrawn... I
was afraid
that their love wouldn't be able to survive..."
        "They found each other- I think it was enough. But I don't
think that they
can ever forget..."
        "Of course they can't! Such a thing... but they can live
on..."

-------------

        "Miki, are you ready?" Yuu's soft question made her look up
from the
flowers that she had been carrying. "Yes, I am..." She smiled up at
her
husband as both of them went into the small meadow filled with
wildflowers.
They both sat down on the warm grass, and looked up at the blue sky.
Finally, Miki put down the flowers she had picked.

        "It's been a year since..." Miki wiped away the tears that
started, and
took a deep breath. "We thought that we should remember this as your
birthday, as your special day, my darling child... (Aikan*- to any
japanese
speakers, how bad is this name? In my eng/jap dict. it says that it
means
sadness and joy...). You should be a few months old now, making
friends with
little Ryo, or maybe with your aunt and uncle..." She stopped
speaking, and
let Yuu continue for her.

        "We will always remember you and love you, as our first child
that should
have been... but we have to let you go. There was no body, so there
are no
ashes or a grave, but we thought that you wouldn't mind if your spirit
was
remembered here, where life and death occur in harmony year after
year." Yuu
put a small teddy bear next to the flowers Miki had put down. "We were
going
to give this to you to play with... we're giving it to you now. We- we
wish..."

        Miki's voice was stronger now, as she leaned against Yuu-
giving and taking
support. "We wish you were with us. We wish you could be here so you
could
see your brother or sister... so that they could grow up with a big
brother
to protect them, so we could have our child..." Yuu held her hand,
lending
her strength. "But never think that we will ever forget you. Never-
you are
a part of our hearts forever... because of what you are, and what you
could
have been..."

-------------

        "Miki, are you sure about this? About having another child?"
Yuu looked at
his wife, who had a far-away expression on her face. She nodded. "It
won't
replace our child in my heart, but we need to live on. And we had
never
planned on only having one child..." Yuu took her hand. She looked up
and
saw him looking at her with a nervous expression. 

        "As long as the doctor thinks that this is healthy for you- I
don't want
you to-" Miki gave him a gentle smile. "Yuu, don't worry. I checked
with
Aoshima-sensei, and she told me that it was fine. So don't worry,
please."
He squeezed her hand tightly, and then let it go. Guesturing at the
nursery,
he said, "Are you really ok with this? Using this room as-" 

        Miki went over to the little crib that she had put in over a
year ago.
"This room was supposed to be a place of joy and happiness... it would
have
been, if-" She shook her head. "We made it represent death and pain,
but
it's not fair to our baby's memory, and to our new child's life..."
She
smoothed over the newly installed curtain. "This room should be filled
with
light, not sadness."

        Yuu nodded. "What about the baby's name?" She looked up at
him. "How about
Tenshi? Our heavenly gift, sent down to relieve some of the pain, and
the
darkness... But never to take away the beauty of our Aikan..." Yuu
embraced
her tightly. "This time, our angel won't leave us behind..."

---Finis---

-----
monica@pipeline.com - http://www.pipeline.com/~monica/
-fics,pics,tapes!
CLAMP stuffs- RGV, TB, X, MKR, CCD, 20 Menso, Duklyon, CCSakura, Wish,
LOGH, MBoy, GWing, Esca, RKenshin, FY, YYH, EVA, Zetsuai/Bronze
Fav. Charas- Akira, Duo, Heero, Hiei, Izumi, Kenshin, Siegfried,
Subaru


--------

Ciao !

Daichi
Fan #1 Hime-Chan no Ribon
Fan #1 Marmalade Boy
http://www.cervia.com/manga 
daichi@freenet.hut.fi
-----------------------------
Coordinatore del MBFC (Marmalade Boy Fun Club)
Italiano
-----------------------------